Where Have All the Guys Gone - Part I

There are a lot of guys out there who have lost touch with what being a guy is all about. No, I'm not talking about grunting and scratching themselves in odd places at odd times. I'm talking about the basics. For instance, a guy can use a hair brush but he should never "brush" his hair. He can use the "brush" to comb his hair. Also, what's up with guys caving into their wives or girlfriends and going to watch "chick-flicks?" It's just not right I tell you! Guys should pick on chick-flicks and complain about them - they're torturous, but if one should ever be compelled to watch, he would adamantly defend "his" decision as going to watch either a comedy or drama. A guy can even enjoy this type of comedy or drama for its good sense of humor or excellent plot. One of my biggest pet peeves is hearing the word cute or pretty in reference to me or something I own! Come on men, you've heard the line; "Your hair looks pretty today," or "What a cute puppy you have." This vulgar use of words must not continue!! We must demand that "rugged" or "handsome" or even "ruggedly handsome" replace the obscene use of these other aforementioned words. Finally, I received an excellent shirt for Christmas. It is a solid color and on the front it says: "Tough guys wear pink." I was very quick to thank the thoughtful individual for the bleached red shirt.

Men, I implore you to stand up and get back to the basics. Take back the art of manhood, not in its caveman fashion, but in a slightly more refined and socially acceptable form.
And ladies, please, please help us! Don't use those absurdly disconcerting words in our presence unless you're talking about another lady.